Quebec City Marathon? What Have I Done Wrong?

I live in Creemore.  There are more trails than you can shake a stick at.  There are no flat roads.  Anywhere.  Most towns have 4 directions; Creemore has only two.  Up or down.  People come to Creemore to train for mountain trail races.  Some also come to train for Badwater, Barkleys and the Antarctic marathon, but I really don't want to talk about those people, thank you.

Quebec City Marathon:  Sunday August 28, 2016

It has been 10 years since I ran a marathon.  I figure that with good behaviour, Lee Anne won't punish me by forcing me to run on a flat, straight paved road, for 42.195 kilometers.  I was wrong.  I don't recall doing anything that could be misconstrued as a punishable offence.  I think?  Now I'm questioning my angelic disposition...

And don't get me wrong, I do run roads.  I enjoy running with Lee Anne and if she is running, it is on a road.  I just prefer gravel roads or the shoulder, if the road is paved.  With lots of hills.  The Quebec marathon is supposed to be on "rolling hills", but you aren't fooling me.  It's like the Around the Bay race.  I was told there were rollers and a big hill at the end.  The course was virtually dead flat until the finish line.  Someone LIED to me!  Of course most people don't share my definition of a hill, but most people are wrong!  A hill has to have significant pitch and gain altitude.  I question anyone who considers something a hill if there are no airline jets flying below the summit.

Even running on pavement is not so bad.  My knees can take up to 154 meters of pavement before they start to complain.  But 42K?  Why do you think we invented trails?  I just hope they have gravel shoulders or grass along the route.

Another sticking point is that I did my last marathon before losing considerable speed.  Oh, and knee surgery.  I think the two are related.  The last marathon for which I could find results was the Massey marathon, in 2005.  I ran it in 3:31, which is close to the slowest marathon I have ever run.  I vaguely recall a 3:36 at some point.  Guess what will happen this weekend in the Quebec marathon?  I will be lucky to break 4:36.  Isn't it a crime to run more than an hour slower than your worst time?  Do I have to worry about the RD at the finish line, consulting sheets of statistics and tapping the arm of a Canadian Armed Forces sniper, pointing at me and ruthlessly shouting "Tirez ce Batard"?

However, I am looking forward to the trip to Quebec.  It has been years since I last visited the town of my ancestors.  I am 13th generation Canadian.  Pierre Marcoux (no, really!) built 2 houses in Beauport, which is now a suburb of Quebec City.  The first house was completed in 1681.  That is about 100 years before "Old Quebec" was built.  The funny thing was that a Marcoux lived in that first house from 1681 until about 1980, when it was sold to someone whose last name is not Marcoux.  I would buy it back, but the house is too damn old...  The second house is now a museum.  One weird fact was that I attended a family reunion at the property in about 2005, which was about 350 years since Pierre Marcoux first landed in Canada.  The reunion was on June 17, which happens to be my birthday.  People were a little taken aback when I mentioned my name was Pierre Marcoux and it was my birthday.  The more gracious people figured the misunderstanding was due to my lack of French...

Lee Anne is also running the marathon and graciously offered to run with me.  I declined.  No, that can't be the reason she is forcing me to run a marathon, because I declined to run with her after I agreed to run the marathon.  I think.  It's just that 42K of pavement will hurt me, while Lee Anne considers the first 40 or 50 kilometers of a run to be the warm-up.  She runs 45 - 50K every Friday and 35 - 40K every Saturday.  The rest of the week are "short" 15 - 20K runs.  I don't think I want to hear her chatting away while I am dying...  My daughter Celeste is also coming to Quebec and will run the 10K.

Well, expect the race report to be all about the great food and wonderful ambiance of La Vieux Quebec and little on the race itself, unless I finish...  After that, we are volunteering at Haliburton Forest Trail Run.  If you are in the 50 or 100 mile race, we will see you at the turn-around aid station, at 40K (25 miles).  This year, I'm not running 50 miles before attempting to vollie all night.

Cheers!